April 3, 2011

{Lady Klaar} Let's talk about Friends...

Some years ago I made the decision to only have 1 friend at a time. That's right...just one....several associates, but only 1 true friend! I can recall being in elementary school and there being 9 girls in my clique. Between the jealousy of who hung out with who and the cat spats here and there, it became something I wasn't interested in continuing as I progressed through life. Not to mention, as a child I moved every few years and, a lil known fact about me, keeping in touch is not my greatest strength. And thus, I have 1 close friend for each phase of my life: elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and AKA.

As can be assumed, my best friend in the current phase of my life is Mr. Wright. Do know that he is hilarious; I smile daily, if not hourly! Without effort he is compassionate, multi-talented and ambitious! Through him, my expectations of future female friends has been immensely altered. Previously, my friendships were based on our compatibility and enjoyability! Can we get together and have a blast? But now, due to maturity, I seek friends who have goals and aspirations; who not only open the door but walk through the door! I seek to surround myself with women who aren't content and complacent but achieving and advancing!

Birds of a feather flock together and if we're all in sync, then this will be an easy flight! But if one bird has a broken wing, then the other birds have to work twice as hard to allow that 1 bird to coast on their efforts. I can be honest, I was once that broken bird; however I never wanted to be a burden to my other friends so I never did the long distance flights. I knew my limits. However, not all "friends" are so self-less. From this I learned how to be my own friend! I've spent many hours talking to myself in the mirror or in the car! No, not lonely-just becoming more acquainted with who I am. How can I be a good friend to someone else if I can't be a friend to myself? And how will I know if my friends are right for me if I don't know who I am?

As you come into your womanhood, it is very imperative that you have a clear understanding of what qualities you want your friends to possess. Lucky for me, my friends are multi-faceted! Each woman is achieving her life goals, has a great personality, gives wonderful advice and when its time to act a fool, #FOOOLERY! Don't think that all your friends have to fit a cookie cutter mold, they don't! However, they should all have that one quality that is most important to you! Think of it as a bag of skittles, every piece is chewy, but each has a distinct flavor.

What qualities should one look for in a friend?


  1. I really like this post. I've had a few friends who have been with me since my childhood. Those that I called 'friends' during college, are already seemingly out of my life, while the ones who have been there from my early life are still there. I guess that is what I look for in a friend... Consistency. Knowing that even though we are at completely different stages in our life, career/education/location--wise, we are still able to communicate every once in a while and can call on each other in times of need.

  2. Number 1 I need a friend i can trust without the shadow of a doubt. Second I look for loyalty and discretion. I need to be able to tell my friend anything without being judged or knowing that my business will go to the grave with them if I choose to share it. Then, they must be dependable. Those are the top 4 MUSTs for a friend.

    Right now, my best friend if Chief. everyone else, associates and fam.

  3. This was a good post. I too have had friends during phases of my life but there was one who stood the test of time was my best friend from elementary school until our late 20s. We had a devastating falling out. You are absolutely right that we have to learn to be our own best friends. I'll be 30 in two weeks and my eyes have literally been opened to seeing and realizing this. I hope that you and your husband continue to nurture the friendship and marriage that you have.

  4. Fab Hicks4/4/11 22:34

    So true N.Wright! Remember we used to say we didn't believe in bestfriends? LOL. When I consider someone my friend I look at a few things:

    -Discretion- you know I have a lot of secrets.
    -Trust- I need to be able to talk to you confidentially.
    -Consistency- Stay Tight! I can't stand a flaky person.
    -Image- I am sorry but you can't look crazy rolling with me. No chipped nails, split ends, and ashy knees. LOLOLOL j/k I am always ashy!
    -Personality- I love to have fun and live life to the fullest! I can't deal with boring people who complain about being tired all the time.

    Thanks for being one of my friends! *Kisses*
    Love you beach!


    Fab Hicks (The AKA Friend)

  5. Anonymous7/4/11 20:50

    haha I like this. I think my one quality is loyalty. My best friend in the whole entire world has been my best friend for every single phase of my life, since I was 11 years old. At 21 that means so much to me. We're totally different but she is like a sister to me. I do open myself to have more than one friend at a time but very few. I keep a close circle.

    Great post.

  6. Anonymous7/4/11 20:51

    oh btw...love the new banner.

  7. Anonymous20/8/12 02:59

    Aman my sons mom is my best friend she been ther for me through it all


I sincerely appreciate the comments! From one selfless person to another, thank you!