HAIRstory #3

HAIRstory: hair telling a story...my story...and I didn't have to say a word...WOW...I had permed my hair, I'd cut my hair, I'd dyed my hair. It is truly amazing how expressive hair can be. It is more than just a visual aesthetic.

My Perm:

I permed my hair because the climate of my environment encouraged me to do so. When we find things wrong or out of place, we fix them; make it WRIGHT. In its permed state, I found much ease in being able to manage my hair. Technically, I was changing the chemical structure of who I was. By hiding my true texture behind a shield of convenience, I was making a fork in the road between the real me and what my environment thought was me. I was shifting my existence; I became someone else and so the me I once knew - was severely damaged.

Cutting my hair:

I'm sure you know this, the oldest part of a hair strand is the end. *DUH MOMENT* I was constantly cutting my ends, even if it was healthy looking - I cut them off. Sometimes I really wouldn't need a cut, but 6 weeks had passed and it was time for a trim. Think about it: the oldest part of my hair that was the epitome of endurance, I'd chopped off! Gone, never to be seen again. I was so carefree about throwing who I was away. Honestly, I didn't think twice about it! Even though it was permed hair, it was more of my existence gone in the wind!

"That sure is a pretty color on you..."

And it sure is/was damaging my hair! When you dye your hair, it literally eats away at the amount of melanin within the cortex of the strand. For you to understand the damage, I was applying a substance to my skin that seeped through my pores and ate away the marrow in my bone! Talk about deep! And because people said it was cute, I kept it up. *Smack on the hand* I will probably dye my hair again to help it return to it's natural color. But once I'm there, I'll no longer be interested in allowing you, yes you, to lead me down a path of distruction!!

No, I am not my hair, but my hair sure is me! I am just now getting back to ME! Our frienemies, the world, our negative views of ourselves so easily throw us off the cliff. But remember, where there's a valley there will be a hill! I am on a mission to re-embracing who I am, accept who I was and what I've been through. I want to be okay in this mobile, self-efficient, God-given body, flaws and all! I no longer want to listen to your views of me. If I want to exude confidence, I've got to find it for myself! "Who gone' check me boo?"

With love to last a lifetime, K!

photos courtesy of P&G Beauty

HAIRstory #1

TEMP or PERM?

I say BOTH bc the FLORIDA temp encouraged me to get a perm! In 2004 I was elected as Sophomore Attendant for FAMU. If we rewind a bit, I got my hair cut Thankgiving 2003, hair colored Xmas 2003 and then I was rocking a short bob. I decided to get a perm in April 2004 because of the humid temperature in Florida. After 7 years of having natural hair, I had to change my hair care regimen. Don't get me wrong, my hair was heat damaged for sure, but I was able to do more with my hair than wear it straight.

With permed hair, it was a weekly wash, blow dry and straighten. Then I would have limp made bouncy hair that blew in the wind. Each night I would wrap my hair, on occasion pin curl the front to create more bounce, but more than likely wake up the next morning and curl the crown for the effect. The texture of my permed hair is very similar to type 2, including the silky sheen. With that in mind, any sebum (natural scalp oil) on my hair - I was done and I would have to wash my hair all over again and blow dry and flat iron and curl...tedious. I thought that by perming my hair I would eradicate this process of doing my hair as often! Wrong, I was doing my hair more with a perm than without.

So, I kept the short cut, even kept the perm. In some ways it was easier than my natural hair. It was faster, the process of straightening my hair. It was straight as soon as I washed it! Give me 20 minutes and I was ready! I'm not sure what shampoo I was using or what conditioner, I defintely wasn't using any oils because that weighed my hair down and I'd have to start all over-AGAIN!

But I do know that my hair was missing something. Look into my eyes in the picture. It's almost as if I am asking you, "What do you need me to do?" I'm on a bus in this picture...very true..everything else was in control of my life at this point. Being on the Royal Court is such a demanding job. You don't get the opportunity to enjoy your college experience. It's fun, don't get me wrong, but my sophomore year, shruggin, all I remember is an orange suit, an orange dress, a khaki suit, a crown, a sash, a pair of ugly brown shoes, sitting up straight, waving to the crowd, long bus rides, seclusion, not being able to get my own food, not eating in public, the slurs, the snickers, LET ME STOP LISTING!

Getting a perm was easy! A 20 minute process that left me without a clue of what to do! So I came up with this idea: I'll wash my hair once a week on Sunday and this way I'll have fresh hair for the week. Remember no oils! Just wash, blow dry, flat iron. Slowly but surely I was draining my hair of it's life, my environment was doing the same to me. I wouldn't find the answer to how to take care of my hair and how to take care of me for another 2 1/2 years. 30 months is a long time to travel without a road map. A month of Sundays with no sunshine, just clouds.