I permed my hair because the climate of my environment encouraged me to do so. When we find things wrong or out of place, we fix them; make it WRIGHT. In its permed state, I found much ease in being able to manage my hair. Technically, I was changing the chemical structure of who I was. By hiding my true texture behind a shield of convenience, I was making a fork in the road between the real me and what my environment thought was me. I was shifting my existence; I became someone else and so the me I once knew - was severely damaged.
Cutting my hair:
I'm sure you know this, the oldest part of a hair strand is the end. *DUH MOMENT* I was constantly cutting my ends, even if it was healthy looking - I cut them off. Sometimes I really wouldn't need a cut, but 6 weeks had passed and it was time for a trim. Think about it: the oldest part of my hair that was the epitome of endurance, I'd chopped off! Gone, never to be seen again. I was so carefree about throwing who I was away. Honestly, I didn't think twice about it! Even though it was permed hair, it was more of my existence gone in the wind!
"That sure is a pretty color on you..."
And it sure is/was damaging my hair! When you dye your hair, it literally eats away at the amount of melanin within the cortex of the strand. For you to understand the damage, I was applying a substance to my skin that seeped through my pores and ate away the marrow in my bone! Talk about deep! And because people said it was cute, I kept it up. *Smack on the hand* I will probably dye my hair again to help it return to it's natural color. But once I'm there, I'll no longer be interested in allowing you, yes you, to lead me down a path of distruction!!
No, I am not my hair, but my hair sure is me! I am just now getting back to ME! Our frienemies, the world, our negative views of ourselves so easily throw us off the cliff. But remember, where there's a valley there will be a hill! I am on a mission to re-embracing who I am, accept who I was and what I've been through. I want to be okay in this mobile, self-efficient, God-given body, flaws and all! I no longer want to listen to your views of me. If I want to exude confidence, I've got to find it for myself! "Who gone' check me boo?"
With love to last a lifetime, K!
photos courtesy of P&G Beauty