I miss you! #Natural Hair

Dear Readers,

I-yi-yi! I dont know where to begin to express how much I miss being a part of the natural hair community, hosting dicussions, attending meet -ups...and all that other #NaturalHair jazz! Life has been crazy busy: planning a wedding, planning for school, assignments for Grad School, finding time to just be me and maintaining friendshps around the world! But I'm doing it...and smiling the whole time..

So, as promised...here's a hair update and a few photos of where I've been!!

All Caught Up #naturalhair

Before you even read this post, I want you to imagine your favorite song just came on!! Drop-drop-drop-it-like-its-hot...wind it up girllll....wind it up real quick. Now find your groove and just snap-bounce-snap-wit a roll...snap-bounce. Put on your "you don't want none" face... Okay, now your ready!!

My #NaturalHair does Atlanta!

Me and my hurr! No product!

I was so pleased that I was able to perfect my twist-out prior to going to Mrs. Cerise for my 6 day trip! While there in her chair, she stated that I really didn't need to get my ends clipped, but I forced her to do the bare minimum because I planned on braiding my hair in the next week or so. I reminded her that I was not interested in getting my hair flat ironed because of the humidity of the Florida summer. This move helped me to reduce my bill by $20.00! Cha-ching! The down side, I don't have any hair length photos to show you! But, what I do have are pictures from my trip to Atlanta and how fierce my do was each and every day!!

Thursday: Mrs. Cerise used Mizani's Natural line on my hair. She joked that they only had one bottle of both the shampoo and conditioner. Goes to show that I seriously live in a town where curlies are non-existent! She loved the way the conditioner left my natural hair, but it didn't do much of anything to my colored-treated hair. In fact, it left it quite stringy and rough. I came home that evening and set my hair in an attempt 4 twist-n-curl style similar to the photo below.

Is there a change in your hair regimen during the summer months?

Fail...Fail...Fail...#naturalhair SCORE!!

,

Attempt #1

For the past two months, I've been on a twist-out braid-out hair perfection tour! Although I used to wear a very easily maintained braid-out that I considered to be TERriffic, now that my hair has some length to it, cornrowing my hair has been a nightmare and a half; especially freshly washed and detangled. In a not-so-recent YT vid, I attempted a flat twist out using Shea Moisture with #FAIL results! But, I think I've got it!! Below you will find results from 2 different methods! The third method, of course, yields the best results!

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5-Step Cleansing Process

5 Months of #NaturalHair Growth

The strands on my head never cease to amaze me! Sometimes they want to curl and sometimes they want to be left alone, which I totally understand! Over the past couple of months, more like year, I have been trying to get rid of a super cute hair style: bangs!! In my mind and at first glimpse I don't see it growing. But after much review of my montly documentation, I'm shocked and surprised by the amount of growth or rather retention I've maintained over the past 5 months! Sadly, I didn't make notation of the length in inches for December (see it here and vid here) but I will begin to do so!! Below you'll find the wet hair length comparison!! Be sure to leave me a love note!

With love to last a lifetime,
Kay 

Natural Hair Journey Video

{Weekend Worries} :::Mixed Emotions:::

Although I am pleased with the outcome of straightening my hair and trimming my ends, this morning when I took my hair down I was slightly disappointed in it's texture. Last night I applied a drop, one drop, of grape seed oil to my ends and this morning my hair was very STRAIGHT! There is no bounce, there is no natural curl, no definition just straight up straight! Then I started wondering if my tresses were growing or maybe last night I was just seeing things! My fiance even commented that it looked shorter than before I went in, "You cut it!!?" Which would mean that I was going back two steps and forward one! I started to panic and had to take a look back in the arsenal and compare to last nights photos! *sigh of relief* It is still growing, but the whole process of evening out my sections (1/4 trim in the front, 1/2 trim in the back) is a horrifyingly slow process. My hair is shorter, but longer.

Ends Trimmed Video

Today I took the trip to see Mrs. Cerise and had her trimmed my ends. Again, I have to tell you she is amazing and does a wonderful job at following directions. I must say I was a bit hesitant at first because no one else has washed my hair in almost 8 months. I've developed a very delicate routine and probably have babied my hair in hopes of holding on to my length. However, Mrs. Cerise was going ham on my tresses. At one point I spoke up! Very respectfully I asked her to slow down! She did.

As we began talking she revealed to me that her daughter is natural. She also spoke to me about the Brazilian Blow out/Keratin Treatment and her take on it! I'll save that for another post!! She wants me to look into a hair system that will restore the keratin in my strands. Granted, there is nothing that will drop these proteins back into my hair, there are hair systems that will restore and rejuvenate. Definitely keep you posted on those as well! I've decided to go until April with the 1/2 - 1/4 trimming regimen. Starting on my 1 year Anniversary of being completely natural, I am going to begin to grow my hair out unless I see a drastic change in the next two months!

So, here is my first video! I need to figure out a less tedious process. This took me 2 hours!

HAIRstory #8

I had no idea that my decision to go natural again would change my total person! It was such a boost of confidence, it helped to renew my sense of identity and considering I would be holding on to these tresses forever, an unconditional relationship with myself began to develop. I'd like to think that 10.10.2008 is my second birthday as this is the day that I began to come alive and live as a masterpiece rather than paint on a canvas.

Every work of art takes time to be developed and I accepted that growing out my perm would be a journey not for the faint hearted. I admit, it was very difficult to accept at first. I was so use to wearing my hair straight that when it began to expand due to humidity I was eager to snatch that flat iron and straighten that sucker out. But, I was on a mission to grow healthy natural hair and straightening it would damage it even more. Again, I returned to rocking my then-favorite protective style: braids.

Six months into my transition I started to notice that my hair was much healthier, thicker and fragile! I hadn't been to the hairdresser in some time and to be quite honest, had no intention on going until my fiance (then boyfriend) asked me how long my hair was. I showed him the new growth section and he was not moved - nor was I! I straightened my hair and to my surprise it had grown a substantial amount. However, my ends were jacked and in desperate need of a trim. So, in April 2009 I went to have my ends trimmed and decided to go for a style! I even went for the blunt bang look! I was feeling myself for sure! However, my ear patches were still very weak!

HAIRstory #6

Fighting Temptations

I am so tempted to press fast forward on the chronicles of my hair so that I can begin to update you on a daily basis, however I would be doing an injustice to those of you who are where I was many moons ago - transition and hoping to see retention, not growth!! Therefore, I must stay loyal to you and true to myself: share my journey to include every hill and every valley!!

Where did we leave off...

Oh yes, August 2008. I had recently taken down a set of braids, permed my hair and within a week had my hair professionally trimmed. Now, do remember that I was also giving my ear patches a second trim, post braids, as I found the professional trim wasn't cutting it! Never before had I truly agreed with the commonly used phrase, words cannot express yada-yada-ya, but I trully was flabergasted! The epitome of my anguish with my hair was finally becoming the epitome of my romance with my hair. A bit extra, a lot true! Even the ladies in the art work on the wall were excited!



My hair telling a story: I was beginning to find my confidence again. My hair began growing at a consistent pace. Personally, I was regaining who I was and who I had the potential to be. The growth in my ear patches gave me a sense of encouragement. I felt like the mouse who had saved the lion from death, my little snips here and there produced a gigantic effect. And like any addict, I wanted more! I wanted my hair to grow longer, fuller and to be flat out gorgeous - and this is when it hit me (*singing*) like Tina hit Ike in the limo-it finally hit me! My natural hair in high school was so much more durable than my permed hair that I had been rockin' in college. Yes, permed hair was "convenient" for the sake of the humidity in Florida, but in all actuality, my natural hair grew faster, responded to color better (less breakage), and didn't box me in to wearing one hair style: straight!



So on October 10th, 2008 I decided, again, to stop perming my hair. On a personal level, I was making a transition: letting go of my past and moving forward with my life. I looked the societal me in the mirror and spoke my peace. I made a compromise between the real me and the societal me that I would no longer allow others to deter me from being who I had the potential to become. Although the societal me said I should conform to soceity's expectations, follow the beaten path and blend in, the real me realizes there is more to me than what is seen on the surface. No more baracades, no more masks, no more faking the funk! I can only offer endurance, pride and character.

And believe me, that's more than good enough!
With love to last a lifetime, K!

HAIRstory #5

Know when to let go!

I was so elated once my hair appeared "even!" Psychologically, I was reaching a plateau, a phase in my life where I was comfortable in who I was. I was beginning to balance the person I had lost and the person I was becoming. Although still rocking permed hair, I allowed my hair to blow in the wind and found styles that I thought exuded my personality and spunk. However, the hair was still limp and lifeless, lacking enthusiasm unless an outside force encouraged it to have bounce and volume.


At the end of the Spring 2007 semester, I randomly decided to end a 3 year relationship. It was a long awaited ending, but we held on because it was convenient and in some ways we were co-dependant upon each other. Despite the happiness I presented to others, internally I was crushed. Not because I wanted to be with this person, but just all the bull I had put up with and for so long. Why did I allow this person to change who I was? Why was I living a lie because others said it would work? How could I forgive and forget just because it happens to everyone? Sounds like something else I know, a perm! Hmm...the irony!

In my state of depression, my ear patches continued to show my internal turmoil. My other hair strands would grow, but my ear patches would stay in the same growth cycle - never growing past my jawline. Soon after the break-up, another random decision, I said to myself: "You know what, I've got to take matters into my own hands!" So I began cutting my ear patches. I took the square right above my ear, combed it towards my chin, smoothed out the raggedy ends and cut them suckas off, too!


Now, you may be saying: Wouldn't that take you back to having a mullet? And, that's fine because my ear patches started growing. They were crisp and clean! In June 2007, I found Mr. Wright and he didn't mind me wearing braids all the time and that's exactly what I did! So, I must apologize: I don't have any pictures of my hair from Summer 2007 going into Summer 2008. In total I wore my hair braided for a little over a year and a half, allowing my hair to breath for 3 weeks at the most. I continued the cycle of perming, and clipping my ends as well as trimming my ear patches after each professional trim.


In August 2008, a year after trimming my ear patches every time I took my braids out, I saw growth and a thickness in my ear patches that I thought would never happen! Tried and true!

HAIRstory #4

One step forward, two steps back!

As I continued to see growth through the spring months of 2007, I maintained permed hair and clipped my ends in order to keep up with my ear patches. Because of this, I began manipulating my hair more than ever! Straightening, coloring, checking every day to see if my patches were growing. I couldn't necessarily wear a bun, which would be a protective style, because at the time, my ear patches wouldn't stretch back far enough! So I turned to wearing braids.


They were a life saver! Not to mention, I could braid my own hair; but it would take me between 12 and 16 hours slaving in front of a mirror. Needless to say, I usually opted to pay someone else to braid it: 8 hours! I found someone who was fast and efficient - she braided my hair for the entire Spring '07 semester. Once they were in, life was a breeze and my hair was finally resting.


I rarely wore them down, usually up in a bun or half up and half down. I was using synthetic hair - 100% Kanekalon. I didn't find micros and human hair too fancy because, from what I saw on other women, I wasn't able to braid past my hair and took the risk of my ends being exposed. I purchased a bottle of Doo Gro Mega Thick Growth Oil. Did it contribute to hair growth? Not really sure, but I do know it was a light oil that wasn't too thick on my scalp.


As if with unbraided hair, I washed my hair weekly with Nioxin paying close attention to my scalp. Sythetic hair can become very heavy when saturated with water and begin to pull on the hair strands. Therefore, it's best to blot the braids dry, wrap them up in a towel on the top of your head or use a hood dryer or handheld blow dryer to promote the drying process.

I wore braids from February to June 2007. Every 4 to 6 weeks I would redo the front section and every 8 to 10 weeks I would put in a new set of braids. Unfortunately, during this time I never took any progress pictures, got my ends cut, or colored my hair: just braids. Finally in June 2007 I took out my braids, permed my hair and went directly into the beauty shop to - you got it! Get my hair cut to match my ear patches. Finally, my hair was "even!"


With love to last a life time, K!

HAIRstory #3

HAIRstory: hair telling a story...my story...and I didn't have to say a word...WOW...I had permed my hair, I'd cut my hair, I'd dyed my hair. It is truly amazing how expressive hair can be. It is more than just a visual aesthetic.

My Perm:

I permed my hair because the climate of my environment encouraged me to do so. When we find things wrong or out of place, we fix them; make it WRIGHT. In its permed state, I found much ease in being able to manage my hair. Technically, I was changing the chemical structure of who I was. By hiding my true texture behind a shield of convenience, I was making a fork in the road between the real me and what my environment thought was me. I was shifting my existence; I became someone else and so the me I once knew - was severely damaged.

Cutting my hair:

I'm sure you know this, the oldest part of a hair strand is the end. *DUH MOMENT* I was constantly cutting my ends, even if it was healthy looking - I cut them off. Sometimes I really wouldn't need a cut, but 6 weeks had passed and it was time for a trim. Think about it: the oldest part of my hair that was the epitome of endurance, I'd chopped off! Gone, never to be seen again. I was so carefree about throwing who I was away. Honestly, I didn't think twice about it! Even though it was permed hair, it was more of my existence gone in the wind!

"That sure is a pretty color on you..."

And it sure is/was damaging my hair! When you dye your hair, it literally eats away at the amount of melanin within the cortex of the strand. For you to understand the damage, I was applying a substance to my skin that seeped through my pores and ate away the marrow in my bone! Talk about deep! And because people said it was cute, I kept it up. *Smack on the hand* I will probably dye my hair again to help it return to it's natural color. But once I'm there, I'll no longer be interested in allowing you, yes you, to lead me down a path of distruction!!

No, I am not my hair, but my hair sure is me! I am just now getting back to ME! Our frienemies, the world, our negative views of ourselves so easily throw us off the cliff. But remember, where there's a valley there will be a hill! I am on a mission to re-embracing who I am, accept who I was and what I've been through. I want to be okay in this mobile, self-efficient, God-given body, flaws and all! I no longer want to listen to your views of me. If I want to exude confidence, I've got to find it for myself! "Who gone' check me boo?"

With love to last a lifetime, K!

photos courtesy of P&G Beauty

HAIRstory #2

My Ear Patches

One of the biggest hills I have had to climb on my journey is the area of hair that I refer to as my "ear patch." I am not sure how it became damanged, what I did wrong, what products caused it to break off or what manipulation caused the most stress. However, when I began my journey in December 2006, I decided that this would be the area that I would give the most attention to as it was the area that spoke to me the most.

December 2006

January 2007

What did it say to you? And how did you respond!? "MMMMM," right! I was so depressed. I had initially went in for a trim and walked out a bald head scally wag. I cried for days, weeks, months. And now, years later looking back, I still feel that same pain of inadequacy! But, it takes valleys to climb hills and that was my Grand Canyon. I put on my hiking boots, grabbed my climbing ropes, my bottle of water and started climbing. I started researching how to make hair grow, how to make hair healthy, why it wasn't growing, what products helped to encourage growth. Most products caused me to slip on rocks, a few helped me up. However, I was my own enemy. I held on to my backpack of ignorance, my perm, and it weighed me down the most.

February 2007

But I saw growth! So, I kept trucking. Although I noticed my scalp would be burned, if I left it on too long I would have scabs, on occasion my scalp would be ultra sensitive for about a week - not once did I think the perm was a problem. Those side effects were normal. RIGHT. I did stretch my perms for several months, 2 at the most before I would get the urge to perm again. Once I permed my hair, I would go in for a trim because that is what you do with permed hair in order to keep a classic look. One step forward, two steps back!

March 2007

The cycle had to stop! I was loosing length of healthy hair because I was trying to keep up with my ear patches. Again, I was devasted, almost lost my gripping on my rope! I went home right away and examined my hair. I noticed, my patches weren't even cut!!! They were scraggly looking just like they had been. You can tell when hair has been cut. The ends are even, it doesn't tangle around itself: it even LOOKS healthy. Those ear patches DID NOT LOOK HEALTHY! Can you say pissed, just upset chile!

It had to end, I had to do something.

HAIRstory #1

TEMP or PERM?

I say BOTH bc the FLORIDA temp encouraged me to get a perm! In 2004 I was elected as Sophomore Attendant for FAMU. If we rewind a bit, I got my hair cut Thankgiving 2003, hair colored Xmas 2003 and then I was rocking a short bob. I decided to get a perm in April 2004 because of the humid temperature in Florida. After 7 years of having natural hair, I had to change my hair care regimen. Don't get me wrong, my hair was heat damaged for sure, but I was able to do more with my hair than wear it straight.

With permed hair, it was a weekly wash, blow dry and straighten. Then I would have limp made bouncy hair that blew in the wind. Each night I would wrap my hair, on occasion pin curl the front to create more bounce, but more than likely wake up the next morning and curl the crown for the effect. The texture of my permed hair is very similar to type 2, including the silky sheen. With that in mind, any sebum (natural scalp oil) on my hair - I was done and I would have to wash my hair all over again and blow dry and flat iron and curl...tedious. I thought that by perming my hair I would eradicate this process of doing my hair as often! Wrong, I was doing my hair more with a perm than without.

So, I kept the short cut, even kept the perm. In some ways it was easier than my natural hair. It was faster, the process of straightening my hair. It was straight as soon as I washed it! Give me 20 minutes and I was ready! I'm not sure what shampoo I was using or what conditioner, I defintely wasn't using any oils because that weighed my hair down and I'd have to start all over-AGAIN!

But I do know that my hair was missing something. Look into my eyes in the picture. It's almost as if I am asking you, "What do you need me to do?" I'm on a bus in this picture...very true..everything else was in control of my life at this point. Being on the Royal Court is such a demanding job. You don't get the opportunity to enjoy your college experience. It's fun, don't get me wrong, but my sophomore year, shruggin, all I remember is an orange suit, an orange dress, a khaki suit, a crown, a sash, a pair of ugly brown shoes, sitting up straight, waving to the crowd, long bus rides, seclusion, not being able to get my own food, not eating in public, the slurs, the snickers, LET ME STOP LISTING!

Getting a perm was easy! A 20 minute process that left me without a clue of what to do! So I came up with this idea: I'll wash my hair once a week on Sunday and this way I'll have fresh hair for the week. Remember no oils! Just wash, blow dry, flat iron. Slowly but surely I was draining my hair of it's life, my environment was doing the same to me. I wouldn't find the answer to how to take care of my hair and how to take care of me for another 2 1/2 years. 30 months is a long time to travel without a road map. A month of Sundays with no sunshine, just clouds.