Black Women ARE the MOST Unattractive... #thecasestudy

A little over a month ago Satoshi Kanazawa of Psychology Today Magazine, *I'm LoveN that most of his articles lean toward controversial topics*, published an article stating that black women are "objectively" less attractive than women of other races. Objective because it only measured facial features assessed 3 times by 3 different interviewers over seven years. Nonsense nonetheless, reality respectively. Now, I don't agree that our full lips, high cheekbones, varied skin tones and almond shaped eyes make us unattractive, however, if we are willing to view our race from a holistic point of view and stop thinking that it's a personal attack, maybe we will be able to see why Black Women ARE considered the MOST Unattractive and adjust our method of approach to life!

So let's dig a little deeper. This weekend as I sat in the airport, stood amongst black women at the Atlanta Greek picnic and ventured to enjoy Atlanta Night Life, I saw what I've termed on Twitter as #thecasestudy. Although many of us may not admit it, there have been times when we have been embarrassed of other black people. Perhaps it was their choice of words, ideas on styles, lack of self-respect or some other deficit, the first thought that comes to mind is "why must you be so ghetto?" You must also look at the representation of black women and the overall perception of black women. Let's just say there are more Nicki Minajs in the world than there are Oprahs! *or the mix: How you doin?*

Most Black Women fall into the likes of Wendy Williams and even she is proof of  #thecasestudy

Who run the wooorllllddd? STEREOTYPES! Simply put: true lies! The negative will always out weight the positive if you let it...and unfortunately Black Women let them rule the world. The world expects us to be demanding, to approach everything with extreme arrogance, shoe you away with our standoffish attitude, and get your attention by being loud and obnoxious! These are the types of things that people don't want to be around, in other words: this is what makes Black Women UNATTRACTIVE!! Like our hair we are very complex, but complexity doesn't have to be a turn off! In fact, we should be so complex that it reads as mysterious! People should aim to idolize us for EVERYTHING we do, not just the few who are well-educated, classy and sassy. Although I don't want to fit in like a puzzle piece, I want to be the picture that the puzzle creates!

What makes a Black Woman UNATTRACTIVE?

We must first identify the wrong so that we can make corrections!

Not by choice, but by destiny...

The following content should not be used without the permission of the author. Additionally, this article may be view as controversial and should not be read if one is easily offended.
In December, my students completed a research project about their ancestors and instead of having a Christmas party, we had a Multicultural Celebration. Students adorned 3-sided boards with the customs, culture, daily dress and flag of the continent or country of their ancestry. They were also required to bring in a food dish to share with their classmates in place of the expected Christmas cookies and cakes. I ate cream pies from Italy, fried plantains from Haiti, empanadas from El Salvador and fried chicken from....Georgia, USA.

I was crushed! In fact 3 "African-American" students didn't even complete the project! But deep down inside, I can't blame them because perhaps they truly don't know what continent their family roots originate.. If your Asian- your family's from Asia.. If your Spanish (not Hispanic, there is a difference) your family is from Spain; Italian, your roots are in Italy. But what about me? I've been referred to as black, but clearly I'm not black like the color! More so a shade of brown!

Okay, let's use the widely accepted term "African-American." Why not just African? Are we afraid of being called what we are or is it because we don't assimilate with true Africans? And what happens when a child is born in...Australia? Do we call them African-Australian? (I sincerely would like to know.) Thus we are left with an oxymoron which means we have no identity. Do recall that when our ancestors, who were true Africans, were kidnapped and brought over, they too were scalped of their identities.

Perhaps this term is just another avenue in which society has mastered a way to divide us as a people. I can recall an intense letter to my father some years back in regards to the "culture" of our people. I called it: Not by choice, but by destiny! My theories address the manner in which "black" people came to exist in the world and how it was determined way before we were given surnames!

If you choose to read Not by choice, but by destiny!, please comment! It would mean so much to me!

Get Ya Money Up

Here we are 26 days away from 2001! Have you begun to reflect on what you've done this year and a few things you might want to change as 2011 rolls in? I'll be honest and tell you that I haven't thought about my life 2010, nor have I thought about what specific things I need to change in it. But, I have thought about one thing that will be changing in the next 15 months: I'll be getting married!

With marriage comes so many responsibilities, commitments and not just to your partner but in your life in general. Most marriages fail because of lies, secrets and the big duh: MONEY!! The first two can be handled one way or the other, but money can be a big deal - we've all heard of pre-nups. Lucky for Mr. Wright and I, we're both very money savvy! However, I know many of my readers may not be as stingy with the green as I can be.

Therefore, in 2011 I'll be adding a Get Ya Money Up column that will focus on money saving tips, couponing, budgeting; all and all how to be economical in a cash driven world. I want to give you something that isn't cliche like fashion tips or celebrity gossip. Teacher-teacher: I want to educate you on how to be a better person and prepare for your future! Now, remember I'm not an Economic Specialist, Mr. Wright has that degree, but I've always been good with handling my money, saving and spending correctly. So, I think I can at least share what I've learned, help a sista out!



With that said: What's your New Year's Resolution?

Too cool for school

Think back to when you were in elementary school, were your teachers ultra fly or "oh my!?" I would have to say that all the young teachers and most of the older African American teachers were ultra fly!

I have to admit, I try to be that ultra fly teacher at my school: I was never voted best dressed in my time, most studious, but not best dressed! Maybe I'll get it this year!!

Oh nah-nah, what's mah name!

HAIRstory #6

Fighting Temptations

I am so tempted to press fast forward on the chronicles of my hair so that I can begin to update you on a daily basis, however I would be doing an injustice to those of you who are where I was many moons ago - transition and hoping to see retention, not growth!! Therefore, I must stay loyal to you and true to myself: share my journey to include every hill and every valley!!

Where did we leave off...

Oh yes, August 2008. I had recently taken down a set of braids, permed my hair and within a week had my hair professionally trimmed. Now, do remember that I was also giving my ear patches a second trim, post braids, as I found the professional trim wasn't cutting it! Never before had I truly agreed with the commonly used phrase, words cannot express yada-yada-ya, but I trully was flabergasted! The epitome of my anguish with my hair was finally becoming the epitome of my romance with my hair. A bit extra, a lot true! Even the ladies in the art work on the wall were excited!



My hair telling a story: I was beginning to find my confidence again. My hair began growing at a consistent pace. Personally, I was regaining who I was and who I had the potential to be. The growth in my ear patches gave me a sense of encouragement. I felt like the mouse who had saved the lion from death, my little snips here and there produced a gigantic effect. And like any addict, I wanted more! I wanted my hair to grow longer, fuller and to be flat out gorgeous - and this is when it hit me (*singing*) like Tina hit Ike in the limo-it finally hit me! My natural hair in high school was so much more durable than my permed hair that I had been rockin' in college. Yes, permed hair was "convenient" for the sake of the humidity in Florida, but in all actuality, my natural hair grew faster, responded to color better (less breakage), and didn't box me in to wearing one hair style: straight!



So on October 10th, 2008 I decided, again, to stop perming my hair. On a personal level, I was making a transition: letting go of my past and moving forward with my life. I looked the societal me in the mirror and spoke my peace. I made a compromise between the real me and the societal me that I would no longer allow others to deter me from being who I had the potential to become. Although the societal me said I should conform to soceity's expectations, follow the beaten path and blend in, the real me realizes there is more to me than what is seen on the surface. No more baracades, no more masks, no more faking the funk! I can only offer endurance, pride and character.

And believe me, that's more than good enough!
With love to last a lifetime, K!

Keeping it Real!

Do yo' research!

I'm pretty sure you've heard of the term PLAGIARISM? For a more in depth understanding, as described by Merriam-Webster Dictionary it means to "steal and pass off as one's own" or to "present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source." Most often, plagiarism takes place when composing essays, research papers, and dissertations. Although most people spend hours and hours, in the case of a dissertation: years, researching information, they often reword the content and fail to acknowledge the source which screams plagiarism. Unfortunately, most think that replacing a few words here and there makes it "theirs." NO! Can you say Lawsuit!


Is it fair to say that plagiarism includes using someone else's findings instead of doing your own extensive research? In this case, is it fair to say that in your ignorance you may be utilizing their research incorrectly? Furthermore, you would agree that as you utilize their research incorrectly your work is, technically, null and void! Now, lets manipulate my explanation just a tad. Have you found two or three hair sites, hair care forums and possibly blogs that you visit daily to find the latest news in hair? Are you trying every product that they have listed as the best product for "curly" hair? And through all of this have you ever researched the formation, chemical structure, proper management of hair? If you answered no to any part of the last question, then, my friend: you are a plagiarist!

Being a natural takes more than just reading what other women have to say about THEIR hair. Remember that we all have a different chemical make-up and our hair is another visual representations of this vast difference! There are some women who can color their hair every week, whereas another woman might see her hair in the sink after the first session. You must embrace your curls, you are married to them. For better or for worst!


As you continue your journey, take this as a compass: hair advice given from one woman to another, more than likely, is based on trial and error, tried and true! You too will have to experience trial and error, tried and true. Be patient - tried and true does exist, but "Do yo' research" first!

With love to last a lifetime, K!

Keeping It Real!

Imma a Diva-Hey!

I've always had a side hustle.

Unfortunately, in today's society it is a no-brainer to look for a 9 to 5 after you graduate...a 7 to 3 in my case. But, with the proper hustle you can actually work when you want to. Be careful! There are so many get rich quick gimics, work-at-home digs and pyramid schemes that are a bust, that it can be difficult to find a gig that is reliable and legit. But, hey, you gotta start somewhere!

I started with braiding hair for years, until I developed a slight case of carpul tunnel. Had a bout with knock off purses and even paid to be a beauty consultant. So yea, I've tried a few things, reved up the engine just for the battery to die, given up before I've even gotten started to come back to saying, "I need to find me a gig!" Well I've found one and this time I won't have to be my own marketing team, field representative and distributer!


There are about 10 to 20 stores where I live that have the besssssssssssst accessories- remember second hand stores usually mean you'll be the only one rocking it! Being a teacher gives me the summer's off, so I have the time to meander and cruise through the stores at my leisure. I have found so many retro, 1940's, 1950's finds that are remarkable. Vintage pieces that are exquisite - needless to say, my accessory game is WRIGHT!

So, I'll be sharing with you! Some for purchase, some for view!


With love to last a lifetime, K!