HAIRstory #6

Fighting Temptations

I am so tempted to press fast forward on the chronicles of my hair so that I can begin to update you on a daily basis, however I would be doing an injustice to those of you who are where I was many moons ago - transition and hoping to see retention, not growth!! Therefore, I must stay loyal to you and true to myself: share my journey to include every hill and every valley!!

Where did we leave off...

Oh yes, August 2008. I had recently taken down a set of braids, permed my hair and within a week had my hair professionally trimmed. Now, do remember that I was also giving my ear patches a second trim, post braids, as I found the professional trim wasn't cutting it! Never before had I truly agreed with the commonly used phrase, words cannot express yada-yada-ya, but I trully was flabergasted! The epitome of my anguish with my hair was finally becoming the epitome of my romance with my hair. A bit extra, a lot true! Even the ladies in the art work on the wall were excited!



My hair telling a story: I was beginning to find my confidence again. My hair began growing at a consistent pace. Personally, I was regaining who I was and who I had the potential to be. The growth in my ear patches gave me a sense of encouragement. I felt like the mouse who had saved the lion from death, my little snips here and there produced a gigantic effect. And like any addict, I wanted more! I wanted my hair to grow longer, fuller and to be flat out gorgeous - and this is when it hit me (*singing*) like Tina hit Ike in the limo-it finally hit me! My natural hair in high school was so much more durable than my permed hair that I had been rockin' in college. Yes, permed hair was "convenient" for the sake of the humidity in Florida, but in all actuality, my natural hair grew faster, responded to color better (less breakage), and didn't box me in to wearing one hair style: straight!



So on October 10th, 2008 I decided, again, to stop perming my hair. On a personal level, I was making a transition: letting go of my past and moving forward with my life. I looked the societal me in the mirror and spoke my peace. I made a compromise between the real me and the societal me that I would no longer allow others to deter me from being who I had the potential to become. Although the societal me said I should conform to soceity's expectations, follow the beaten path and blend in, the real me realizes there is more to me than what is seen on the surface. No more baracades, no more masks, no more faking the funk! I can only offer endurance, pride and character.

And believe me, that's more than good enough!
With love to last a lifetime, K!

HAIRstory #5

Know when to let go!

I was so elated once my hair appeared "even!" Psychologically, I was reaching a plateau, a phase in my life where I was comfortable in who I was. I was beginning to balance the person I had lost and the person I was becoming. Although still rocking permed hair, I allowed my hair to blow in the wind and found styles that I thought exuded my personality and spunk. However, the hair was still limp and lifeless, lacking enthusiasm unless an outside force encouraged it to have bounce and volume.


At the end of the Spring 2007 semester, I randomly decided to end a 3 year relationship. It was a long awaited ending, but we held on because it was convenient and in some ways we were co-dependant upon each other. Despite the happiness I presented to others, internally I was crushed. Not because I wanted to be with this person, but just all the bull I had put up with and for so long. Why did I allow this person to change who I was? Why was I living a lie because others said it would work? How could I forgive and forget just because it happens to everyone? Sounds like something else I know, a perm! Hmm...the irony!

In my state of depression, my ear patches continued to show my internal turmoil. My other hair strands would grow, but my ear patches would stay in the same growth cycle - never growing past my jawline. Soon after the break-up, another random decision, I said to myself: "You know what, I've got to take matters into my own hands!" So I began cutting my ear patches. I took the square right above my ear, combed it towards my chin, smoothed out the raggedy ends and cut them suckas off, too!


Now, you may be saying: Wouldn't that take you back to having a mullet? And, that's fine because my ear patches started growing. They were crisp and clean! In June 2007, I found Mr. Wright and he didn't mind me wearing braids all the time and that's exactly what I did! So, I must apologize: I don't have any pictures of my hair from Summer 2007 going into Summer 2008. In total I wore my hair braided for a little over a year and a half, allowing my hair to breath for 3 weeks at the most. I continued the cycle of perming, and clipping my ends as well as trimming my ear patches after each professional trim.


In August 2008, a year after trimming my ear patches every time I took my braids out, I saw growth and a thickness in my ear patches that I thought would never happen! Tried and true!

HAIRstory #4

One step forward, two steps back!

As I continued to see growth through the spring months of 2007, I maintained permed hair and clipped my ends in order to keep up with my ear patches. Because of this, I began manipulating my hair more than ever! Straightening, coloring, checking every day to see if my patches were growing. I couldn't necessarily wear a bun, which would be a protective style, because at the time, my ear patches wouldn't stretch back far enough! So I turned to wearing braids.


They were a life saver! Not to mention, I could braid my own hair; but it would take me between 12 and 16 hours slaving in front of a mirror. Needless to say, I usually opted to pay someone else to braid it: 8 hours! I found someone who was fast and efficient - she braided my hair for the entire Spring '07 semester. Once they were in, life was a breeze and my hair was finally resting.


I rarely wore them down, usually up in a bun or half up and half down. I was using synthetic hair - 100% Kanekalon. I didn't find micros and human hair too fancy because, from what I saw on other women, I wasn't able to braid past my hair and took the risk of my ends being exposed. I purchased a bottle of Doo Gro Mega Thick Growth Oil. Did it contribute to hair growth? Not really sure, but I do know it was a light oil that wasn't too thick on my scalp.


As if with unbraided hair, I washed my hair weekly with Nioxin paying close attention to my scalp. Sythetic hair can become very heavy when saturated with water and begin to pull on the hair strands. Therefore, it's best to blot the braids dry, wrap them up in a towel on the top of your head or use a hood dryer or handheld blow dryer to promote the drying process.

I wore braids from February to June 2007. Every 4 to 6 weeks I would redo the front section and every 8 to 10 weeks I would put in a new set of braids. Unfortunately, during this time I never took any progress pictures, got my ends cut, or colored my hair: just braids. Finally in June 2007 I took out my braids, permed my hair and went directly into the beauty shop to - you got it! Get my hair cut to match my ear patches. Finally, my hair was "even!"


With love to last a life time, K!

HAIRstory #2

My Ear Patches

One of the biggest hills I have had to climb on my journey is the area of hair that I refer to as my "ear patch." I am not sure how it became damanged, what I did wrong, what products caused it to break off or what manipulation caused the most stress. However, when I began my journey in December 2006, I decided that this would be the area that I would give the most attention to as it was the area that spoke to me the most.

December 2006

January 2007

What did it say to you? And how did you respond!? "MMMMM," right! I was so depressed. I had initially went in for a trim and walked out a bald head scally wag. I cried for days, weeks, months. And now, years later looking back, I still feel that same pain of inadequacy! But, it takes valleys to climb hills and that was my Grand Canyon. I put on my hiking boots, grabbed my climbing ropes, my bottle of water and started climbing. I started researching how to make hair grow, how to make hair healthy, why it wasn't growing, what products helped to encourage growth. Most products caused me to slip on rocks, a few helped me up. However, I was my own enemy. I held on to my backpack of ignorance, my perm, and it weighed me down the most.

February 2007

But I saw growth! So, I kept trucking. Although I noticed my scalp would be burned, if I left it on too long I would have scabs, on occasion my scalp would be ultra sensitive for about a week - not once did I think the perm was a problem. Those side effects were normal. RIGHT. I did stretch my perms for several months, 2 at the most before I would get the urge to perm again. Once I permed my hair, I would go in for a trim because that is what you do with permed hair in order to keep a classic look. One step forward, two steps back!

March 2007

The cycle had to stop! I was loosing length of healthy hair because I was trying to keep up with my ear patches. Again, I was devasted, almost lost my gripping on my rope! I went home right away and examined my hair. I noticed, my patches weren't even cut!!! They were scraggly looking just like they had been. You can tell when hair has been cut. The ends are even, it doesn't tangle around itself: it even LOOKS healthy. Those ear patches DID NOT LOOK HEALTHY! Can you say pissed, just upset chile!

It had to end, I had to do something.